Life is very multifaceted. There is rarely, if ever a clear black and white distinction in many of the paths we must take in life or relationships.
In Buddhism you will see many wrathful deities like Heruka and Yamantaka who signify our more angry, forceful types of compassion. Sometimes we need to be kind and calm with our loving, other times it is necessary for us to be filled with a forceful fire and maybe even, from a compassionate space, be hurtful.
Is yourself or the person you love acting in a way that harms themselves and others, perhaps stuck in an addictive circle? Maybe it is time to show some compassionate anger to help being them back to themselves. Sometimes we need that extra pull and impulse from the darkness to throw us back to the light. In Buddhism this is known as skillful means upaya, Buddhism is known as a religion and philosophy of kindness, compassion, and patience. Ironically, often the right kind and loving thing we need to do in order to help a person is to hurt them. Here we do not necessarily beat or physically harm them, or injure them with our words, but we forcefully wake them up to their situation, through firey love. We us this means in which to show them or ourselves how they (or we) are harming themselves.
Love and compassion aren’t always coupled with joy and ease. They also ride along with pain and misery. Life’s journey is peaks and valleys. Life without darkness blinds us to our light and numbs us to our full potential, where we can be shrouded in apathetic misery and no growth can happen. Both light and dark can be wise and compassionate, and for true flourishing of a person, we must take wisdom from both the sun and the moon.